Follicular lymphoma survivor: Why I participate in UT MD Anderson’s Boot Walk to End Cancer®

When I was diagnosed with follicular lymphoma in late 2014, I was pretty matter-of-fact about it. I might’ve been more upset if I’d broken my arm.  

Several relatives of mine had already been diagnosed with various types of cancer over the years. So, I was no stranger to that disease. It just wasn’t scary to me. I also come from a family of strong faith.  

It’s easy to start feeling sorry for yourself after a cancer diagnosis. But I made the decision early on that I could either sit around crying and asking, “Why me?” or I could embrace the next chapter of my life and say, “Thanks for the first 50 years, Lord. Whatever comes next, they’ve been really great.” 

My follicular lymphoma diagnosis

The way I was diagnosed was actually kind of weird. The first symptom was my eyelids swelling up in January 2014. They almost looked like I had pink eye, but the swelling would come and go from one day to the next.

People started telling me I looked tired and asking me if I was OK. I felt fine overall, but my eyes were really scratchy. It was like when you’re watching a movie late at night, and you’re exhausted and just want to go to bed, but you’re determined to catch the end of it. One eye was also a little smaller than the other. 

Doctors told me it was just allergies. But after months of eye drops and allergy tests, my doctor finally determined the problem was neurological. I saw a neurologist in August and had an MRI in September. The scan revealed several tumors: one behind each eyeball and two others in my throat and below my jawline. A biopsy showed they were follicular lymphoma. My doctor referred me to UT MD Anderson. 

My follicular lymphoma treatment and side effects

At UT MD Anderson, I learned that my disease was actually not considered that advanced, despite having tumors in multiple places. So, a year of targeted therapy called a monoclonal antibody put me in remission. When the cancer recurred a year later in the glands under my tongue, surgery plus an aggressive course of chemotherapy took care of it. I’ve been cancer-free ever since.  

My treatment wasn’t painful, and it didn’t mess up my vision. But it did make me so draggy that I sometimes felt like someone had poured lead into my veins. The chemotherapy also made my hair fall out, which was really depressing.  

Losing your hair is nothing compared to what a lot of other patients go through. And, when someone says, “Bald is beautiful,” I agree. When I look at other people, I can see it. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, all I wanted to do was cry.  

Hair doesn’t define me. But mine was always gorgeous and thick. So, I didn’t want to feel embarrassed by its loss. I started wearing a bandana underneath a baseball cap in public. My mother made me some very pretty scarves for church, too. When my hair started growing back, it was black and curly. Now, it’s almost completely back to normal. 

‘We’ve chosen to do something’

That was more than five years ago. But I still remember the survivor’s guilt I felt after one of my relatives died. I was in my early 50s when I was diagnosed with cancer, and my kids were grown. She was only in her early 30s, with her whole life ahead of her. I started thinking about how I could show my support. Eventually, I decided to join UT MD Anderson’s Book Walk to End Cancer®. 

I’m not very good at fundraising. And, I didn’t feel much like walking, either. But I wanted to do something. When I found a pair of gold cowboy boots at a resale shop that were just my size, it seemed like a sign.  

I went to the Boot Walk by myself that first year. My nieces and nephews joined me the next. But last year, I decided to team up with some ladies I know. We called ourselves the Chosen Generation. Because we’ve chosen to do something. This year, I’ll probably do it again. 

Our contributions may not be very much. But I believe we go through life so we can be there for somebody else. This is my way of saying I remember those who didn’t survive, and that I understand what those who are still in treatment are going through.  

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