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Advice on Intimacy

Focused on Health - June 2009

Build self esteem by doing things that are good for your body -- like eating healthy food, drinking plenty of water, exercising and making an effort to look your best
Wear a tank top or a camisole when making love if it makes you feel more sexual, or invest in sexy lingerie that hides the part of the body that causes insecurity
Engage in activities that will bring you closer together physically and that can generate desire, like holding hands, kissing or cuddling
Schedule sexual encounters at times that you have more energy and make a commitment to your “special time.” This will cut down on wondering about when the next encounter will be and can help both parties relax
Invest in a water-based lubricant and an over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer in the case of dryness. Incorporate the lubricant into your sexual routine, and use the moisturizer a few times a week independently of sex
Distract yourself from thinking about the way your breast(s) or body looks or feels so that you can focus on the pleasurable sensations in your body
Try making love in different positions that might make you feel more comfortable about your body

Women who are having trouble with their libido could consider purchasing erotic items to stimulate interest and sexual pleasure. Shopping online for these items may help to alleviate embarrassment. Many sites deliver the item in an unmarked box and don’t spam you to pornographic sites.

“Remember that regaining a powerful sexual relationship with your partner isn’t a race,” Hughes says. “It’s like a train ride – it’s a journey. Be creative, and do what feels natural. And who knows? The sex might end-up being better than ever.”