The sandwich generation: Tips for juggling parenting and an aging parent’s cancer diagnosis
February 26, 2026
The term “sandwich generation” describes people who are raising their children while also caring for their aging parents.
Juggling the responsibilities that each of these entails — plus a career, a household and a social life — is challenging even when cancer isn’t involved. So, what do you do when it is?
Senior social work counselors Tatiana Fincham and Mary Dev weighed in on this topic during a recent episode of our Cancerwise podcast. Here are a few tips they shared.
Expect to have big feelings
It may come as a shock to realize your parents are no longer the strong, independent people they once were. It probably comes as a jolt to them, as well.
“After all, they were the ones who took care of you,” Fincham notes. “You depended on them all through your childhood, and leaned on them for advice and support even as an adult, occasionally. So, the idea that they might need your help now can be jarring. There may be a lot of grief — and even some anger or resentment — on both sides about how things have changed.”
A cancer diagnosis, treatment plans and side effects may also affect the way your parents feel about their situation. So, be gentle with yourselves as you navigate this strange new territory together.
Featured Podcast:
The sandwich generation and caring for parents with cancer
Re-evaluate your needs and resources
Once it’s clear that your parents require assistance, sit down and analyze what that means from a practical standpoint — including what types of support they might need going forward.
Do your parents now have cognitive impairments to consider, for instance? Do they have mobility challenges or need help getting their affairs in order? If you’re an MD Anderson patient or caregiver, our clinical social workers can help. You can reach them through MyChart or by calling 713-792-6195.
“Our case managers can find out exactly what’s covered by your health insurance and what isn’t, then start building a plan,” Fincham explains. “When it comes to installing medical equipment at home, as well as logistics and safety planning, our occupational and physical therapists can help, too.”
But don’t forget to consider yourself in the midst of all this plan-making.
“Talk to your partner about what you need,” urges Dev. “And be candid, whether it’s help with the kids or help with your parents. If you don’t have a partner, tap into your extended support system. If your parent is receiving treatment here at MD Anderson, reach out to us in Social Work.”
Stay flexible
Just because you have a plan in place doesn’t mean that’s how life will unfold. A cancer patient’s condition can change between one moment and the next. And what seems like a good idea at first may turn out to be unrealistic. So, staying flexible is crucial.
“My mom was diagnosed with leukemia a few years ago,” recalls Dev. “She’s doing well now, but she was in the hospital for a long time. She became very debilitated. Once they discharged her, it became clear that home would not be a good place for her to recover. My dad simply could not manage it. So, we had to admit her to a skilled nursing facility for a little while instead.”
The main thing to remember is that you don’t have to do this all by yourself, Dev adds.
“Help is available in many different forms,” she says. “So, figuring out what type you feel most comfortable with can make your life a whole lot easier.”
For more tips from Dev and Fincham, listen to the podcast.
Request an appointment at MD Anderson online or call 1-877-632-6789.